"First of all ladies and gentle men, would you like to hear how the Diddy men came to make their first record.
Would you, I thought you would.
Well one morning I went to see my little diddy man friend Mick. He lives and number one and a half Ticthy Terrace.
I knocked at the door, and there he was"

"Ah ha Doddy me boy oh. He he he, ho, ho, ho how you diddling Doddy. Begad, Begorrah and behave yourself. Sure your lovely man, come in for stopping out."

"I went inside Mick's little house."
"Mick how would you like to make arecord with the Diddy men"

"Me, Doddy, make a record with the diddy me, sure. That's rich, ho ho ho, I tink, I tink that's a marveloous idea Doddy. Me sing on a diddy disc, sure, you're a darling man, I'm destroyed, ha, ha, ha. Whahoo, I'll be diluted to sing with the diddy men Doddy, but there's only one thing, let me play the drums. Let me play the big drum Doddy, or I'll marmalise ya, I'll marmalise ya, ha ha, ho ho."

"After I had been sto see Mick the marmaliser, I caught the train to Scotland, land of bagpipes and porridge. To a little white cottage, with a whisp of tartan smoke curling from the chimney"

"It's Mr MacDoddy, och Mr MacDoddy, you're very, very welcome Mr MacDoddy, would you care for a wee dram of tickle tonic?"

"Thank you Hamish. Well actually I've come north f the border to ask you would you like to sing with my new group, The Diddy Men?"

"Och, no I think that's a grand idea Mr MacDoddy, for I've always wanted to do a bit of recording on the radio."

"From Scotland I travelled down to Wales, to a little town called Llantickleecklan. And there, in the tiniest cottage of all, lives Little Evan, a little diddy welshman"

"Why goodness indeed Mr Doddy, welcome to Wales boyo. It's lovely to see you Doddy, look you. Oh it's so nice to see you back bach.

"Evan, how would you like to sing with my new choir, the Diddy Men"

"Me Doddy, me sing with the Diddy men. Oh that's posh for you. I'd love to sing with your choir Doddy. Here have a buttie and a glass of Leek Wine"

"I arrived back in London and straight away I went to Park Lane because this is where another one of the Diddy Men lie, the Honurable Nigel Poncenby Smallpiece, 140 Park Lane. I rang the bell"

"Ah ah ah ah, why it's Doddy,ah ah ah ah. My dear chap, how nice to see you again, ah ah ah ah ah ah ah. Mother, mother, Doddy's here, ah ah ah ah. Do come in Doddy, you're just in time for tea and crumpets"

"Thatnk you Nigel, but actually I want you to vocalise with some Diddy chums of mine. You know, make a disc"

"Oh I say what a delightful idea Doddy, ah ah ah ah. How awfully ripping, ah ah ah ah. Mother, mother Doddy wants me to e a pop artist ah ah ah ah. Absolutely first class, top oh ah ah ah ah. Oh Doddy, do have some champers ah ah ah ah"

And that's how we all got together next day to make our first record.


